Excuse me!

So, if you were sitting on an airplane next to a person who was audibly passing gas repeatedly without once flinching, saying excuse me or acknowledging it in even a minimal way, what would you do?

If you are me, the answer would be nothing. At least, that’s what I did last week. Nothing. (Btw, the term “doing nothing” seems an oxymoron, yes?)

No, I’m not making it up. On a flight from Dallas to Chicago last week, I sat next to a more than middle-aged woman who farted at least 15 times from the time we boarded to when we landed without even one tiny whispered, “Excuse me.”

I’m not sure why the ongoing non-acknowledgement became almost more upsetting to me than the actual gas and resulting smell. But it did. I mean, c’mon. I know there are people who feel this is totally normal and acceptable in public, though I’m not one. And I know there are people with legitimate medical issues that make their flatulance more prolific.

But, I’m a human being and yes, I’ve been awake since 5 a.m. and NO I DIDN’T PRAY TO THE DON’T-LET-ME-SIT-NEXT-TO-THE-GAS-LADY GOD TODAY.  WOULD A LITTLE EXCUSE ME OR EVEN A SHEEPISH SMILE KILL YOU?

Sigh. Truth is stranger than fiction.

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March 9, 2009. Tags: , . Uncategorized.

2 Comments

  1. Lady Viv replied:

    wow…thrilling.

  2. Scott Monty replied:

    Whatever you’re doing right now – stop. And go watch this short video that might help you find solace (or at least humor) in your otherwise precarious situation.

    http://oldjewstellingjokes.com/post/120086771/ronnie-busch-emissions-ronnie-busch-is-the

    Scott

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